You're invited to honor your loved one on this board in any way that helps you deal with your grief whether it's a story, poem, link to a memorial site or sharing feelings about your loss. Memorial candles are displayed at In Memory of Ben - Memorial Candles and will stay lit as long as this site is alive.
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I can only imagine how hard it must be to try to make any sense out of what your son did. That is something you may never be able to resolve, but I am glad to hear that even through this very difficult time you have chosen to forgive him. I agree with you that in order to be forgiven we must forgive. I believe you are able to forgive your son because as believers we understand it is more a "choice" to forgive whether our emotions line up or not. And I am also so very happy to hear you still love him. Again as Christians we learn to hate the sin and love the sinner. I pray that through your forgiveness and love that you have for your son that he will come to know the saving grace of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and seek forgiveness for himself. Do you visit him? If you do, that must be very hard. Try to remember that if you choose to, he may come to know Jesus through you. And I must say, I agree with you that by not forgiving you take the risk of becoming bitter and mean. Forgiveness is not just for the offender but for the one offended. If we "don't let go" and "let God" do what He needs to do within us bitterness can take root and destroy us. But when we realize the grace and mercy God showers upon us, it's very humbling and we realize that we are called to do the same.
Tomorrow will be 3 months since my Mother was called home. At times I still can't believe she's not going to show up somewhere. I miss her so much.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss. May God continue to make Himself known to you in ways you've never known and may His peace that passes all understanding be yours.
God bless you,
I hope that you get a chance to read this. This is Gerald Mendoza, I am not sure if you remember me or not, but I was David's best friend even through this horrific tragedy. I am so terrible sorry that he has put you through all of this grief. I would not wish this upon anyone. I know I have only met you a few times, but I would like to get together sometime with you if that is ok? I would like to just sit down and talk. I have so many things to tell you, but if you do not want to hear them, then I will not bore you. I have, also, cried many nights, even though there be not as much a reason that I do, I have. I dreadfully mourn David, and even though I didn't know her very well either, Toyanne's loss too. I think if I was not grounded, and not allowed to use the phone, then I could have talked David out of it. If anyone could have im sure that I could have. I have also seen him a few times since this tragic event happened. I know this doesn't make me sound like a good person, but I saw him while I was in JDC, and even though I got out, eventually he will too. I also saw him while I was at Trinity Springs. Those two times gave us a lot of time to talk about things, and I'm not sure, but you know how some things you feel most comfortable talking about to your best friend? Well, since then I moved in with my grandparents,lost every one of my friends,and my family hardly visits. Even though the living standards here are much better, there is just a lot that I miss back home, what I am trying to say is, sometimes you just need a friend to talk to. Seeing as though I don't have any out here, I was wondering If you and I could maybe get together sometime. For old times sake, I do not wish to replace your son, I just want to have someone to talk to, who shares many problems I share. Your Poem really touched me, in a way that nothing has ever touched me before. I believe that it will help my life for the better. Every time I read it though, it reminds me of this event, and how horrible it was. I hope you didn't think that I was a bad kid or anything,because I really am not. I am a quiet person who mostly keeps to himself. Wayne, if you are out there, please respond to me.
With love and compassion,
Name of loved one and dates: for toyanne, yes
Gerald,thanks for caring.No,I dont think you are a bad kid-I never thought any of you were.We always tried to be sympathetic to all of you.We all have problems,and D.s' just got to him more to the point where he lost touch with reality.I never judged any of you.No,I didnt agree with all the things you all did--what parent does agree with everything their child does.That being said,there were several people involved in this who NEVER will live that down in my mind.You aren't one of them.And dont worry about the rest--God says I must forgive them,and so I do.Period.I dont accept the influence they played in my son's self destruction,however,and I only hope that they find some place in their lives where they can deal with the part they played in an innocent woman being murdered.But finding God has helped me deal with my loss.It hasnt dulled the pain,but in time I will learn to heal.Peace,Gerald,and I will be in touch.
Hey Wayne, Thanks for not thinking that I am a bad kid. I just have some problems, as well as everyone else in this world does. I am trying to keep in touch with David, but he hasn't responded to either one of my letters. Its ok though, I am sure he will, in time. I just wish that there was some way that I could help. I don't know how hard this must be on you, I can only say that I feel horrible for what has happened to you, and that if there is any way that I can help, I will be more than happy to. It is good that you forgive them, that is the first step in healing. This whole episode had made me find God also, while I was in jdc I realized a lot of the mistakes I made, and that my life was not going in the direction I wanted. I went to all of the bible studies in jdc, and I had the preacher's pray with me after class. It has helped me a lot. I have been talking to Rhonda a lot, she is a very nice person. Oh and if you are going to sell David's stuff, please consider selling it to me. I wouldn't want to lose memories...Well, Wayne, If there is anything that I can do for you, or if you just need someone to talk to, please, I am here. My number is (972) 625-9127 if you ever want to talk, And I live in The Colony, TX. Its not too far away from where I used to live. About an hour away. Hope to hear from you, and again, I am sorry that I have not been there at any point in this...
Name of loved one and dates: yes