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In Memory of........

You're invited to honor your loved one on this board in any way that helps you deal with your grief whether it's a story, poem, link to a memorial site or sharing feelings about your loss.  Memorial candles are displayed at In Memory of Ben - Memorial Candles and will stay lit as long as this site is alive.
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My Poor Sick Girl Is Gone

My wife Donna had been in pain since she was 11 years old. She suffered from chronic daily migraines. Shortly after she had our first daughter, she developed odd symptoms. For a time, the doctors were unable to determine the cause of the symptoms. Eventually, one determined it was systemic lupus.
She got progressively sicker and developed an infection in her pancreas. She was so used to being sick, she didn't take it seriously enough and on December twenty nineth at two pm, I found her brain dead in the bed. She had been sick all night, but she was talking. I went in the other room to sleep. The last thing I remember saying to her while she was lucid was, "Baby you're making too much noise. I need to go in the other room." My poor girl was dying and I didn't know it. I was being selfish. I'm being eaten alive by this. I'm so sorry. I want her to know that, but I can't tell her now. I called 911 and followed her to the hospital. My kids stayed with my inlaws while I stayed with her in the back. She was convulsing and she was ice cold. They got her body temperature up, but they couldn't get her blood pressure up. Her heart repeatedly stopped and after the fourth time the doctor came and talked to me about doing a DNR. I followed my wife's wishes regarding this. I ordered the DNR, but I wouldn't take her off the ventilator or the BP medicine that was keeping her alive. They said she had maybe a day before the medicine lost all effectiveness anyway. They were giving her blood, but it was coming out of her mouth. Her useless brother let it run all over her face while I left the room to do something. I came back and threw him out and wiped the blood off her face. I had to sit and wipe her mouth for an hour and a half. The next morning her BP bottomed out as I held her hand and told how pretty she was, and how smart she was, and what a great Mom she was. She closed her eyes. her eyes had been open since I found her. It was like she went to sleep. I started screaming and collapsed on her.
I miss her so bad. I didn't mean to be selfish. I want her back.

Name of loved one and dates: Donna Renee Craton 11/08/76 - 12/30/06