Last Thursday night, Dec. 20th, at about 10:24 P.M., CST, I received a phone call from my friend's 18yo daughter saying I needed to come to Arkansas right away, that her mother and 11 year old sister had been in a terrible car accident. Her mom, Tammy, was one of the closest friends I have ever known, and she did not survive. Fortunately, her little sister, a close friend of my children, survived, although seriously injured with severe bruises and broken bones in both feet. Both had been wearing their seat belts.

This tragic loss of a beloved mother, daughter, sister, and very hard & successful worker, along with being a fun-loving and joyful friend, was caused by a 21yo male driver who was not sober (we are awaiting the blood tests results.) The accident is still under investigation.

Because friends and family had travelled far, and with the major holidays this week, we held the memorial service today, although the local police turned the investigation over to the state officials.
One reason that decision was made was because Tammy had fought and survived one of the most serious and fast spreading types of breast cancer just a few years ago. During that year of surgery and treatment, she kept her spirit up and insisted that holidays and traditions be celebrated as normal as possible. Since then she had joined the Susan Komen Breast Cancer Foundations Race For The Cure.

Tammy was a woman who had suffered her share of trials in life, but who had such a beautiful joy-filled heart, and fun-loving view of life, that she would have expected no less of us. This was the woman who made me & her kids help with her little garden patch and special rosebushes, because in her eyes growing fresh vegetables and pretty roses is "fun." She was a do-er...life was meant to be lived, movies were meant to be seen, books were written to be read, vacations were meant to see some of the world, scrapbooking was done to make memories, parties were meant to celebrate and possibly have marshmallow fights, besides working full-time and supporting a family of three children (two are now adults) selling Mary Kay cosmetics and Longenberger Baskets gave you a little extra money and beauty in your life. Reading Harry Potter with your best friend and crying in the movie when Cedric was killed by the bad guys, and crying harder when you read book 5 and Sirius died...a character we loved as though he were real made it worth it to stand in line together at midnight at the local bookstore with family and friends to buy book #7 and get little trinkets...well that was "fun," too.

Raising our children together, and sharing all of the above with them and my husband was a miracle. We lived next door to each other for five years, until she moved to another state for a better career position. Tammy was a single mother, divorced but as amiable as possible for the sake of her children, and a career woman in a traditionally man's field of work.
I'm a stay home wife & mom, who uses my schoolteacher education to homeschool our two sons, and am fairly sure I'm allergic to housework (well, we kind of had that in common...there are only so many hours in a day ) She admired and encouraged me in my work, and I admired and helped her as a backup mom to pick up her children from school or daycare when needed, and I had the honor of being their "other mother" as her middle daughter nicknamed me. We worked together in our church, mostly in the AWANA program, and were in Bible study classes together. She always had a smile, and a great sense of humor. I had hooked her on Harry Potter & mugglenet.com, then the "Charmed" tv series, and I was ready to introduce her to the Argeneaus. Hey, we were well-grounded in our Christian faith, and knew the difference between reality and fantasy, so we didn't sweat the small stuff!

One more thing about Tammy: When I was at the lowest point ever, and my life was in danger from illness, she was there the entire night to hold my hand. She was not a fair-weather friend, but a true friend that you could count on at anytime.

Why do I share this story with you? Well, many get stressed during the holiday season, many get the winter blues, many of us look at our politics or things happening in the world near & far away, and it can be depressing. When you lose a friend this way, you even question or need reassurance about your own beliefs. I had a pastor of my own religion, and the Reverend of another protestant denomination who officiated at the memorial service who were able to reassure me that in their studies and beliefs, our spirits move on immediately as I have always believed. Tammy was only 45 years old, and she put more joy and living into her short life, than a whole lot of people ever put into twice that amount of lifetime.

So, my word of thankfulness is that I had Tammy for almost nine years in my life, and I'm connected with all her family & loved ones. I've never studied a whole lot on what Heaven is really like, but I sure hope they celebrate Christmas with all the joy and love that people like Tammy give this world. And though I grieve with missing her already, it's only a matter of time until I see her again.

So, thank you, Lynsay, for the work you do to write books that fill people's lives with joy & humor. Lots of people want to call the romance genre a whole lot of "fluff-n-stuff," as if it's not as important as other literature. Well, reading books with the love, romance, and fantastic humor that you make available from your wonderful imagination makes me happy, joyful, and able to deal with the sad moments in life, not always an easy task since I and my family live daily with my mood-disorder (I have mild Tourette's and Bipolar - both genetic in my case ) I thank you & Mr. Spice for bringing so much "fun" into our lives (love the newsletters)...It is an uncomman gift to be able to do so.

I know this is not a typical forum post. To all I have enjoyed sharing with here, in this special holiday season, remember to let your loved ones know you care. Don't worry if the meal isn't perfect, the presents aren't all you think they should be, the decorations aren't finished. Hey, we have none up...with all of this happening right after our special family trip to Disneyworld, we haven't had a chance to shop for holiday food, gifts, or put up any of the decorations...somehow it's not a problem. If the crazy shopping on Christmas Eve doesn't get it accomplished, we will celebrate the 12 days of Christmas and do it all on Epiphany-Jan. 6th, like it's done in some other countries of the world. An event that takes a friend's life kind of puts it all in perspective somehow.

Tammy would have liked the Argeneaus, Lynsay. Just like the rest of us, she would have had a soft-spot for Thomas. After all, she named her only son Thomas. I don't even put Thomas Argeneau in the running for me on the threads that ask "who is your favorite," because somehow you made your Thomas very special, and he is in a category that is all his own! And of the books so far, I'm guessing Bastien & Terri would be her favorite couple, though I'm not sure. She was smart & playful, and working was such an important part of her life. But she might have identified with Lissianna because she came from a large family and she valued her independence. I thought I would see her at Christmas, and have my chance to share them.

Now I'm really glad Avon is releasing them back-to-back, for it gives me something to enjoy & look forward to more than ever. I'm going to buy a bag of the Little Midgees Tootsie Rolls, cause Tammy & I used to sneak them out of the trick-or-treat candy while we sat on the front porch waiting for the kids to come around, and I'm gonna munch a few for me and a few for her while I read. Do you think in heaven that you can eat all the you want without gaining weight?

So to all, whatever your traditions or special holidays, may you have a very Merry Christmas and a Joyful New Year!

wren

For Tammy:

That was such a moving post my thoughts are with all! x

I grieve for you, Wren, and for Tammy's family. You were blessed to have some time with such a wonderful friend. God be with you all in your time of mourning.

Denise

I already wrote you a ridiculously long email (sorry) so I'll just say here. Hugs and my heart goes out to your family and hers, wren. Hold the joy of her memory close and try to enjoy and appreciate those you love who are still here this year. Hugs again

Lynsay

I am so sorry for your loss... I will add Tammy's family and yours to my prayer list. No time of year is easy to loose someone you love, but this is the worst. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Linda~